sweater imprint on my cheek
2001-10-09 - 10:10 p.m.

7:30 and i'm trying to regain warmth in my legs. i suppose the two holes in the knees of my pantlegs aren't helping things. i can't feel my nose, either.

676-2...yes, that's it. that's the number that will forever be engrained in my brain. the number that i've had memorized since at least march 3 of 2thousand1.


familiar voice on the other end of the phone. familiar voice still makes my heart beat a little faster.

go through the necessary preliminaries. "hi" "what's going on?" that sort of thing.

we agree to meet at walmart. god knows walmart is the place to be. all good americans go to walmart everyday, sometimes more than once. sometimes more than twice, but always more than necessary. one day, walmart will cave in. and i will laugh. and everyone will act like it's the end of the world. i will laugh harder.

i smoke two joints in the morning...the bright fog lights of your blazer blind me momentarily. i jump out of the comfort of my heated car and lean into your window.

we leave walmart. to go to the ingle's parking lot. [?]

we park and i get into your car. we listen to frank sinatra and sammy davis jr. my head on your shoulder, you tell me you were really very worried about me this morning. this morning i had put a letter on your windshield. a letter that i needed you to read. a letter that explained that if we didn't change something, i would go insane. i raise my head up and rub at the imprint of your sweater that's on my face now. i tell you that i didn't mean for you to be worried. but i had to tell you the things i wrote to you.

"all i want...all i want is for you to be happy. and i'll do whatever it takes. and if -that- is what it takes, then that's what we'll do."

i layed my head back down and closed my eyes so the tears wouldn't sneak out and land on my cheeks. i'm too sensitive. you're too loving. i'm not used to things like that.

all i know is that i'm undeserving...but i'll never take you for granted.

|||i'll be the other hand that always holds the line connecting in between your sweet heart and mine| ||

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