sunday || ramble on
2001-11-18 - 9:05 p.m.

winston marsalis playing and us on top of a pile of clean laundry on top of your bed on top of the floor on top of the ground. [on top of the crust on top of the mantle on top of the core]

jazzjazzjazz

youyouyou

ononon

mememe

i feel you and i feel heaven.

i feel you and i forget everything else.

sometimes i look at you...and i think of all that you are inside and all that you are on the outside and i can't even comprehend why you would want me. -me-.

why?

your hair was messy and your eyes were blueblueblue and i just stared. and smiled. and felt loved and undeserving.

as usual.

in a haze. a frenzy.

i came i saw and i almost conquered.

as usual.

it always happens like that. i come i see and i never quite conquer.

but one day.

it'll be different.

because one day.

the circumstances will be right.

my stomach hurts and i've once again failed to make sense to you nice readers. my stomach is drilling out of my body by way of my belly button.

always hitting the backspace key. that's what i do. a lot.

and i sit and stare at the screen hoping something will come into my mind. it never does, really.

back to the point of this entry.

there have been two consecutive amazing nights. i love and that is that.

||aligator lizards in the air. in the air| ||

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