i never had it so rough ever since i've been gone
2002-01-27 - 3:42 p.m.

i don't really feel like doing anything anymore. you could call me the epitome of lazy, i guess. actually, it's more like i don't want to interact with anyone ever again. certainly not in real life, not on the phone, not on the internet. i don't want to watch tv, i don't want to listen to music...nothing that involves people. i just want to hide under the covers in the dark and cry. then when i'm done crying i want to just lay there in the dark. just lay there and take it all in. the silence. i want to get a grip on who i am inside. and what i'm supposed to become. all i do lately is get in trouble and cry. and worry some. i think last night i got in trouble more times than i have in my entire life. things just kept piling up.

i don't want to be here anymore.

i want to start over, taking with me only a few things from this life. knowledge mostly+one person+my legos.

i just don't know about anything anymore.


||what remains of the day remains to be seen by the tv that we never turn on| ||

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