what happened was this.
2002-03-11 - 4:32 p.m.
note: this is what i felt yesterday. however, today is a better day. my hope in everything has been restored and i feel a lot better than i have in the past month. i cried in the shower today in between washing my armpits and my knees i cried one of those my-stomach-hurts-i'm-crying-so-hard-things. because what i fine mess i've gotten myself into you say you believe in me, that we'll be fine and the "it'll be okays" come from other people this doesn't help me thought no, i need relief i need to know what is going to happen and selfishly, i want it to happen my way i hate this and no, i'm not really all that surprised that it happened. you told me, as we were laying on my living room floor that together we could get through anything so i layed there in the same position that i sleep holding your hand like i was afraid you'd disappear any second and i thought about these things jumbled as they are //were in my head but my mind can't //couldn't get past any of the thoughts it gets stuck on the "uhohs" and the "what nows"
but that was yesterday and last month. today is better. and i'm not making that same mistake ever again. so there.
prev */* next |