2002-05-21 - 10:13 p.m.

i like to read about everyone graduating. it reminds me of when i graduated. how i wanted so badly out of that parade of mediocrity but at the same time didn't want to leave yet. how i loathed the idea of wearing a cap and gown and sitting in the hot gym with all those people but loved the idea of all the years of school finished.

changed clothes in the school restroom. the school was dark and not at all the familiar place it was from 7:30-2:15 everyweekday. hurry up she said. i tried. it's hard to hurry when you're hot and sweaty and impatient. talked to people i didn't really know. drove aimlessly. then to a party where i felt like i wasn't real. just floating around. roomtoroom. we found jenny under a tree. way out. and under a tree. we went to a video store. drove the way there with the cardoors open. stupid. too many pills. too much fun. convinced the man in the video store to give us a video for free because "our brother has cancer in his ear and it's his dying wish to see a movie tonight." i laughed so much. i couldn't even see because of the tears. it felt good.

it's always good to leave something with good feelings. finish it out nicely.

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