erin: if you had a cooler right now, what would you put in it?

johnnyboy: id put a variety of sodas and some water and some sandwhiches in a cooler. but i dont know where im going or where id take it. or why im putting stuff in it.

erin: an old ropin' rodeo person said that squirrels are the devil's mittens. please justify this.

johnnyboy: what is implied here, is that the squirrels are evil evil beasts, that are kind of like the devils hands, not that they keep him warm but that they do what ever he wants. most people that believe in demons fail to see the correlation between demonic forces and squirrels. i, on the other hand, share the same savvy that old ropin' rodeo people do.

erin: list three good reasons why children under six should not be allowed outside of their homes.

johnnyboy: 1. squirrels.

2. screaming.

3. crying.

erin: the consumers want to know: does preperation h really work?

johnnyboy: people use it to get rid of bags under their eyes. but i dunno. ive never seen it work/used it.

erin: so. freddie mercury. hot or not?

johnnyboy: totally! hot! duh!

erin: how many people have you peed on?

johnnyboy: peed directly, zero.

erin: if you could have a 20ft statue of anything in your front yard, what would it be?

johnnyboy: it would be of that weird mashed potato sculpture that richard dryfeuss made in close encounters of the third kind.

erin: one more. do you know the muffin man, bitch?

johnnyboy: no, but your MOM does.

thank you.

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