2002-07-02 - 12:20 p.m.
once
there was this kid
who
hATED PEOPLE"S GUTS.
[that would be me]
she picked fights at work and spoke her mind for once.
people got mad at the new side of erin, but apologized profusely[annoyingly]for the Hurting of the Feelings.
mmm mmm mmm mmm
mmm mmm mmm mmm
[god shuffled his feet]
she ignored very well and she only felt love in her heart for one, maybe two people.
she was afraid of herself.
she was quick to anger.
there is a new girl at work and new people make her nervous.
new people have cooties.
sunday wasn't kind to her.
people were mean.
people were stupid.
but at least she got to see her love for a while.
they lolloped in the forest in the 500 degree heat and she
she had on sandals and a skirt.
not ideal for lolloping.
sweaty and fun though.
monday wasn't kind to her.
monday saw her daddy scaring her with mean yelling.
monday saw her in tears and not able to talk.
wanting desperately to leave here and go to him
but she couldn't talk for crying.
she was afraid.
she didn't know what to do.
she could usually hold it in and not show emotion, just a grim look about her.
this worked.
this worked until today when it was bad.
it was loud and scary and mean and hurtful.
her feelings hurt.
her heart fell in the floor and got stepped on. orsomething.
[please could you help me with these cuts of mine?i disconnected my heart and cut myself on the wires]
she felt infuriated and guilty all in one.
he apologized and she didn't know how she was supposed to feel.
surely one is not to be treated this way.
but this one was. and this one didn't know how to act.
she still doesn't know. she is quiet and sullen and no one can reach her.
in the words of paul simon, "they built a wall in china...a thousand miles long. to keep out the foreigners they made is strong and i got a wall around me that you can't even see"
she is thankful that she heard his voice today 4 times. she needed it before she even realized that she did.
she is thankful that she is talking to john now. she needs this.
she hopes tomorrow promises nice happy things, but she thinks that things will not be best until wednesday.
because, you see, things get in the way.
work.
and yelling.
and work.
and stupid people.
but if she looks forward to the times that she has with him, then she thinks maybe she can make it okay.
she hopes so anyway.