2002-07-06 - 10:33 p.m.

everybody says that we have our whole lives ahead of us and we shouldn't worry about not seeing each other everyday right now. but i don't think that they understand how i need to see you. you are, to me, like oxygen and water and food. i need you in order to survive.

no, i don't know what happened in the car. when i went from an okay mood to a not so okay mood. when i couldn't talk and i couldn't tell you what was wrong. you always can tell when something is wrong. even when i can't. so you hugged me in the way that tells me that you love me even if you're not sure what's going on. we went to lay on your bed and you opened your arms and i crawled in close to you. i could barely breathe with my face in your chest and when you moved back i realized i was crying. but you just kissed my face and you said to me: honey, it's going to be okay. i promise. and then you smothered me with your body again. i couldn't help but laugh. i told you that i was sorry that you happened to love such a weirdo. a girl that seems to have no control over her emotions let alone the ability to understand any of them. you on the other hand are cool as the proverbial cucumber. you, my love, are everything that i wish i could be. and sometimes, i can't for the life of me understand why you stick around instead of looking for something better. i feel terribly undeserving most days, but i never take you for granted. there is a reason for everything and are my reason for living.

i love you adam daniel.

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