more tales from a blockbuster.
2003-05-27 - 10:32 p.m.

today i worked, but i didn't. i was at work, but no real work took place.

instead, i stood around with brad and we used the words "cunt, douche bag and wanker" to replace words in movie titles. such as, instead of the bob the builder kid's movie called "nice work, bob" we now have "nice douche bag, bob." or what about "my big fat greek cunt." "harry potter and the chamber of wankers." you get the idea.

that got old after a while, so we started to exchange stories of the crazy customers that come in. the following are real things that people have said:

[man that came riding at blockbuster on a bike. i thought he was going to crash into the brick wall]

"i have to go save the space shuttle. i have to get to my wife. do you know where i can get a big light? or a battery? my wife doesn't really like me, so i think riding to see her on my bike will change her mind. but i have to save the space shuttle first." [the space shuttle had blown up the day before]

"i swallowed at least four of the family members. your uncle, your grandmother and a couple cousins. i have to keep eating toothpaste or they'll come back up again."

"this is a good movie, have you seen this movie? a very good movie. my wife left me because i tried to chop off her head. i really thought she was a vampire, but this is a good movie."

i don't want to work there anymore.

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