it's almost like that summer 2? 3? years ago. to remember whether it was two or three would require some thought and that is something i will not devote any amount of thinking to. but it's the feeling of driving in cars with the windows down and the wind blowing your hair so hard that it'd be ridiculous to try and stop it.

and to try and stop the feelings that you have. it'd be ridiculous to try and stop those, too.

when it's bad, it's really bad. when it's good, it's almost perfect. all of this has happened in the span of only a couple weeks and finally i'm out of the valley that i had been stuck inside of for almost nine months. i think my heart has a new owner and my best friend is coming home much sooner than expected. [though part of me won't believe it till i see her].

sometimes i think being unhappy is better than happiness. because after being happy and content, when things start to go wrong, it all seems so helpless.

but i guess i'll see how this goes. and if it all turns out badly, well...i'm digging a hole and not coming out for anybody.

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