just nevermind.
2003-09-03 - 1:05 p.m.

i scrawled "i feel sick" across my right arm in blue ink. the lights blurred in my eyes and i gritted my teeth and wondered if i could hold back what i thought was coming up.

i drove home with the window down and my arm hanging out, letting go of the steering wheel with my right arm in order to change gears. there was no one on the road but me.

i layed down in bed and i felt my face sliding off of my skull, so i moved my hand up to stop it. i remembered weird things about that night like how the guy that we were talking to was standing in the way of the streetlight and it made his hair glow. i wondered how many cigarettes i smoked. i thought about how i drink water and more water and i smoke. how i feel full of it and i think that's why i feel sick; a dense fog inside of my body.

my body smushed flat into the mattress, i wonder //as i drift to sleep\ if i'll have to look for my face when i wake up in the morning.

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