there is a gnat flying at the screen - a constant assault - because it's the only light that it can see. i keep smacking it down, but still it persists.

my shoulders are in pain because daniel and i punch each other. hard. we don't hold back just because we love each other. but it hurts so badly sometimes and i know one of us is going to get really hurt and it's probably going to be me because he hits so fucking hard. this is one of the reasons i love daniel. because he'll punch me. because when i grab my arms and cry out in pain he tells me he's sorry and just when i'm concentrating on his words, he comes in with another punch and it makes a sickening thumping noise and it makes me mad and so i retaliate. and so goes the sick cycle. and i love it just as much as when he's sweet to me, kissing me and telling me he loves me. violence mixed with love is surely the key to my sick, sick heart. and i think he knows this.

today it was the three of us. i like it this way, though they gang up on me. but i feel very content when i'm sitting in between my two favorite people in the world. we're like family, you see. and that means i can put my honkeycracker buttcrack on them and they don't mind! it means we can lick each other. it means having impromptu drum circles in the floor of public places using popcorn buckets. oh yes!

now, congratulate me. for i qualified for a new job and you didn't.

!

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