2003-09-06 - 10:51 p.m.

my screen says "man-boob lasers"!



today i smoked more than i have when you combine all of the cigarettes that i've ever smoked. that make sense? i couldnt can't help it. iiii am eating pretzels. and tthey are mighty good. i peed twice or myabe three times behind a bush. i drank a drink that was terribly good. terribly terribly good. it made me warm and fuzzy and tingly and it made me do things like tell people that i love them and


this won't make sense to you now. this won't make sense to me when i read it tomorrow.


tonight we laid down on the the park. and sacreligious or not, we acted out a good part of the crucifixion. i was jesus, serina was a thief. and daniel and matt were, how shall i put this, tag-team thieves i suppose. damn that tricky i before e thing gets me every time. i had to backspace several times when typing thief.

i before e except after c. and on wednesdays. oh.

" my head hurts' i say to myself inside my head while i stare at the granola bar sitting to my left. my head hurts" i think while i ponder eating a granola bar. MY HEAD HURTS AND GRANOLa makes me poop. and furthermore it makes my poop weird.

daniel told me to drink water when i get home and i'm drinking water. with my left hand and that is the hand that i also smoke with. so everytime i drink said water i smell smoke on my fingers and wish that i was able to smoke. but you see i can't. not in these conditions. in the dark. in the rain. in the cold. in the dark. where no one can hear you scream.




serina set my leg on fire tonight. i was laying on the table staring at the sky and i said 'hey i think that my leg is on fire' and i said 'hey put that out' and i was very calm and wasn't all that concerned that my flesh was melting off onto the blue plastic table melting off onto the ground where the school children play. and on monday during playtime little will they know the goings-=on of the previous saturday night. little will they know of the evils of drinking and what this alcohol i speak of does to the body unless of course they have a parent that leaves beer sitting on the floor where the child plays and the child becomes overwhelmed with curiosity and drinks this beer that's right in front of them. meh heh.

also. i was set on fire a 2nd time. my shirt this time. i know my mother will wonder why there's a burny burny spot on my shirt when she washes it. and i will tell her that i fell onto a campfire. tripped on a log, i'll say. i was scared, i'll say. and then i'll start to cry, softly at first, then growing louder and then i'll tell her i wouldn't have fallen into the fire if i hadn't gone out to search for berries to eat because i don't have any money to buy real food. and maybe she'll feel sorry for me and give me money. or maybe she'll tell me i'm stupid and to go away.


and as i was riding home on a horse. no in a car actually. i was riding in a car. and the windows were down and music was playing. modest mouse. starflyer 59. and daniel was there beside of me. and oh. well. yeah. it was nice. but i had to go home. and here i am. sad and alone. alone. cold. alone. ALONE ALONE and sexually aroused-like. what a state to be in.

i go now.

jesus loves you. yeah you. with the hair.

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