sometimes i feel stuck. sometimes i feel overwhelmed, afraid, lost.///

sometimes

sometimes the cigarette smoke burns my throat and my eyes and

sometimes i get so angry i hit things stomp scream inside and i feel like a little kid. my sister used to get down on the floor and scream until her face turned red, pounding her arms and legs on the floor, crying. i feel like i could do that some days.

sometimes i'm afraid my thoughts will turn to actions and i won't be able to stop. it will be such a great outlet that i won't know how to turn it off. sometimes i wish i was brave so i could knock out the teeth of that bitch that got mad at me for not seeing her WHILE MY FUCKING BACK WAS TURNED. she said excuse me like i had seen her and just refused to move instead of realizing that i don't have eyes in the back of my head. i wanted to tell her that if she'd feed her little ethiopian body then maybe i would've heard her coming and could've moved fast enough for her liking. i wanted to tell her that if she didn't wipe that snide look off her face, i'd knock her teeth out onto the floor, pick them up and shove them into her head to make a smiley face so she could be permanently happy. i realize the mall is crowded with people buying christmas presents but i don't need little toothpicks telling me "EXCUSE ME" in a bitchyass tone.

i've eaten 44 chicken nuggets in 4 days. i'm not going to stop. soon that's all i will eat. i'll refuse to consume anything but the mighty chicken nugget. all hail erin, queen of all things nuggety.

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