v-day. bleh.
2004-02-14 - 10:50 p.m.

you know, if i just shut off my anger and my depression and attempt to try out happiness, i feel better when i go to sleep at night. the past few days it's been easier than it usually is. the past few days have been good for me. the past few days i've really laughed, i've really smiled, i've really been happy. genuine.

he walked in the door and he told me he had my valentine gift. holding it behind his back. i told him i didn't want to see it, but he held out his hand and shock set in. then i smiled. a cow heart. a fucking cow heart. it was hilarious. not flowers or candy, but a cow heart. it suits us. bloody parts. our relationship has strange written all over it and things like this just prove that fact.

we took robot to the emergency animal hospital because we thought he was sick. he was extremely hyper and then extremely lethargic. he wouldn't hardly move this afternoon and he's never done that before. but it was just his flea collar they said. we took it off of him and the doctor threw it in the trash and charged us $25. the puppy was so sweet today..after he pooped about 8 piles. i'd be sweet after i got all that out of my system, too. heh.

we watched 'lost in translation' while laying on the couch. i cried a little at the end. while the credits floated silently down the screen, we smoked cigarettes in the silence. exhaling, he said "we were meant to spend the rest of our lives together." and as i kissed him, i agreed.

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