we'll title this one "erin talks shit"
2004-03-12 - 10:09 p.m.

dear diary,

you're getting sloppy seconds. i've been cheating on you with my paper. here you go.

you know when you've found it because you feel it when they take it away.

one consumption unit. one beating heart. one inert filler. one talking muscle. NO BEGINNING NO END.

my words are like a puzzle. always a piece missing. [thought i'd something more to say]

save me. you tell me it's okay. you tell me it's going to be okay. take my doubting heart and fucking prove it.

you have no idea how i need you. you have the key to my destruction. one weakness: you. one strength: you. you have to be careful. it doesn't take much.


and i dreamed i was dying and i dreamed that my soul rose unexpectedly. and, looking back down at me smile reassuringly.

i want to leave.

"the easiest way to sleep at night is to carry on believing that i don't exist. the easiest way to sell your soul is to carry on believing that we don't exist. it must be hard with your HEAD ON BACKWARDS."

"wouldn't it be so wonderful? if everything were meaningless. but everything is so meaningful and most everything turns to shit."



these thoughts persist and continue driving deep into my skull like finely-tuned arrows.


pushing doubts back into their respective corners inside their respective boxes, waiting to come out yet another time.

i'm a good kid. happy child. old style. but i never want to do that again. but if i want to, i can.


it doesn't take much to bring me out of the shit place i was in mentally.


human is sponge



the flowing dripping day reached full circle.

i'm going to sleep. morning cures most everything.

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