around 4 in the morning, i woke up from an hour's sleep to the door opening. daniel apppearing. i feel like i'm dreaming. in my mind, i'm asleep, but in reality, i'm awake.

drifting in and out of consciousness and waking, finally, to arms wrapped around me. slowly being awoken. shaken awake, but nicely. eyes shut in the beautiful way that happens when you wake up and realize you still have two hours left of sleep before the alarm. eyes shut in the beautiful way that happens when you hear that one part of your favorite song. when you shut your eyes even though you're driving and you know it's a bad idea, but you do it anyway. because your other senses are heightened when your eyes are closed. i am rambling.

i felt numb but alive. i felt loved..something i need now more than anything i can think of.

this is not stability. this is whatifs and maybes and dontknows. i'm afraid.

i'm going home now. before i implode sitting here.

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