i try. or rather, i'll start.
2003-10-19 - 10:06 p.m.

not being angry
not wanting to kill things over and over until i feel better
not doing things without thinking
not smoking so much
not drinking so much because i don't have the money
not driving so fast that serina's head slams against the window when i turn
not peeing behind buildings because i'm too lazy to find a bathroom
not peeing in soccer fields because i always drip on my pants
not calling blockbuster when leslie is working because she'll make me hate her even more
not nodding my head at brad because i don't listen and nodding makes him think i am and he'll call me to see if i want to drink and i won't return the call
not dropping my phone so much because it breaks
not using my phone so much because i owe a lot of money because i used too many minutes and i don't know how because you know i hate stupid phones
not yelling "WHOREMONGER!" at work when customers are in the store
not throwing things at work because customers are in the store
not touching ashes because sometimes they're hot and they stick to my finger and won't come off and i get burned
not talking anymore because i offend, i anger, and i disappoint. [note to self: sew mouth shut.]
not being a procrastinator, lazy, bitchy and everything else i hate.

i'm going to improve. take note of this. i think i'm starting to give a damn.

we'll see.

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