2009-06-30 - 3:06 p.m.
it's been almost three years. i don't know why i'm here, or why i'm doing this. maybe because this is the only place i can be completely honest.
wake, work, drink/drugs, fuck, sleep. repeat. this is culture.
there's only a slight variation of this depending on the day. you can imagine.
this is the first time in my life that i've actually felt like a real person. i can only say this because i've experienced being just a shell. nothing inside but what's been put there by others. imagine the panic i feel sometimes, now, when i realize that i've lived almost 27 years and just now figured out where i need to be. mentally, anyway. nevermind society mega-phoning in my ear to get a real job, get married, have kids, grow old..
same old shit, you know.
so there's a strange combination of drugs & drinking, a porchcouch, a certain time of day & these people i know that have instilled in me things i hope i never forget. i'll be taking them with me to the afterlife. and i'm hoping you'll be sharing the same space.
here's to finally figuring it out.
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