2009-06-30 - 3:06 p.m.

it's been almost three years. i don't know why i'm here, or why i'm doing this. maybe because this is the only place i can be completely honest.

wake, work, drink/drugs, fuck, sleep. repeat. this is culture.

there's only a slight variation of this depending on the day. you can imagine.

this is the first time in my life that i've actually felt like a real person. i can only say this because i've experienced being just a shell. nothing inside but what's been put there by others. imagine the panic i feel sometimes, now, when i realize that i've lived almost 27 years and just now figured out where i need to be. mentally, anyway. nevermind society mega-phoning in my ear to get a real job, get married, have kids, grow old..

same old shit, you know.

so there's a strange combination of drugs & drinking, a porchcouch, a certain time of day & these people i know that have instilled in me things i hope i never forget. i'll be taking them with me to the afterlife. and i'm hoping you'll be sharing the same space.

here's to finally figuring it out.
here's to fucking up and branching out.
here's to wasting time and gaining knowledge.
here's to you, me & no sense of the appropriate.
and here's to hoping we don't fucking forget it.

prev */* next