2005-10-25 - 12:58 a.m.
this box has never been comforting.
but you make do.
the weather from october is i.v.-dripping into my veins and knocking me out mentally. it's creeping into my skull like a deep, stoned sleep and taking me places i've been other octobers. other novembers. decembers. falls. winters.
i can't think of a time that i've thought i was happy until it was too late and i was depressed again. i can't think of a time i was depressed until it was too late and i was happy again. happy is okay, but happy means coming back down again eventually. it means realizing that i cannot stay in one mindset for any given amount of time. depression brings creativity and happiness drives it away.
i think i try too hard.
everything i write here sounds the same. same shit, different wording.
on the 28th, i'll be a robot.
just so you know.
shoplift, i'm waiting for you.
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