my valentine.
2002-02-14 - 2:02 p.m.

since you probably expect to read a valentine-ish entry, i might as well meet your expectations.

i stood in the hallmark store for a good 30 minutes or so trying to find the perfect card. stayed away from the mushy ones. stayed away from the too funny ones. but i couldn't find one that said what i wanted and in the way i wanted it said. so i go home. i find the memphis school of art college book that i have had for quite some time //though dreams of going there have vanished i stared at it a while, this book. i ripped out the insides. i cut off a lot of the top portion until what was left was a spiral side and a pocket at the top. cut card-shaped, mind you. i painted it black. black for two reasons. to cover the words and because red was too valentiney. i worry about what to put on the front. nothing stupid, this has to be perfect. i finally find the exploding dog picture "butterflies in my stomach." john says that it's me. i feel sorry for john because i pestered him for days about this matter. i got out mod podge and put the card together. i stared at it a while. not happy at all. i stared at it for a while longer. i went to work. i came home and i worked on it some more until i felt it was at least a bit decent. i wrote inside. nothing particularly loving. just stupid stuff. i wrote you a verse: you have a lot of hair, but i'd let you wear my hat. i would never beat you with a greasy cat in the pocket, i put your concert ticket. i hope you don't lose it because i'm not sitting by myself at the show. after taking a nap with you this morning, i went to my car and stuck the card in between 'snatch' and 'bamboozled'. i didn't tell you that i had made you a valentine. i didn't tell you to be careful and not lose your ticket. i just told you i loved you and walked to my car and drove off.

now i'm counting down the hours [about 2] until i can see you again.

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