2004-01-16 - 10:42 p.m.
suddenly everything that has ever entered my body threatens to heave itself upward and outward and the hot panic that i had forgotten shoved itself in my esophagus and settled in for a while. there is a knot in my stomach and my eyes will fill up, threatening to spill over because
you always think it's over; think things will return to normal WHATEVER THE FUCK NORMAL IS but they won't. they don't.
inside, i am a scared little girl, but outside i'm an adult with no one to tell me it's going to be okay. because really, no, it's not.
the roles have reversed.
disguises are thin.
i can never be fooled for long...but i think maybe i'd like to be.
the ambitions are wake up, breathe, keep breathing.
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