if ever my faith in mankind could be restored, if ever i had a better outlook on life in general, it happened today. i missed you..like whoa. when i'm with you i say in my head "okay, i have 3 more hours. i am okay." counting down the time i have with you. and i remain okay until there are only minutes left. i remain okay until i get into my car and you into yours and you drive off to work. then i feel a little disappointed, and wonder when i'll see you next. wonder if maybe you'll waste gas to come see me. wonder if i'll have to have a day without you. how i hate those days. loathe. abhor. if days were tangible things, i'd cut them with a sword and spit on their evil ways. their evil ways of keeping me from you. or maybe it's not the days, but the world. maybe i should heave a big knife right into the ground in your name.

how fucking content i am to be wrapped in your arms.

when we were watching the movie, you took your hand off of me for a minute and it was so cold. my mind screamed "put it back put it back" until you did. and that's how it is when i'm not with you. cold. not right. till i see you.

so there.

put up with that mushiness.

shove it up your asshole and wriggle it around. you'll get used to it after a while. and become accustomed. and grow to like it.

what in the hell am i going on about

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