standing in the 30 degree weather in my pajamas. dark, but the full moon lights up wherever i feel the need to step. i was staring off into the sky and i saw a shooting star and then i thought maybe it was just my imagination. i stared at my neighbor's christmas tree and wished it would fall over and catch fire. then i thought maybe i would go buy one tomorrow after work and put it up and pretend nothing's wrong. try to recreate years past, the years where everything was normal. at least normal for us.

i'm too sensitive.

too sentimental.

i'm growing angrier and angrier.

if i were brave, the world would end.

at least my little section of the world. people are stupid. careless. selfish.

i don't trust the hospital. i don't trust the nurses. i don't trust you. i hate the parking garage, i hate the smell. i hate i hate. all. it all.

i made a new cd.

i dropped the bread and never picked it up.

things are molding.

i can't take this living alone and taking care of someone as well as myself.

these words have become so depressing.

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